Inspiring Moment: Mexican Chop Chop Salad

Written by Braiden

 

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Welcome Our New Guest Columist, Chelsea Hanson

Written by Chelsea Hanson on August 8, 2011

Today I’d like to welcome grief support expert Chelsea Hanson to the Five More Minutes With family as our second guest columnist. Chelsea offers books on coping with grief and other items at her website.

Like our other guest columnist, John Paul Carter, Chelsea will be writing for us about once a month. We are thrilled to welcome her to our ranks, and know you will enjoy reading her sage advice for many years to come.

Her first column for us helps answer the question, “What words of sympathy should you say to someone who’s lost a loved one?”

Your presence alone with your friend or at the service says how much you care about the family and the person who died. However, to verbally express your sympathy, one of the best things you can do is speak from your heart.

Below are some words that can be helpful to show your heartfelt sympathy and concern:

• “We will miss Mary very much. She was very important to us.”

• “We are here for you.”

• “You are not alone.”

• “Words cannot express our sympathy.”

• “I cannot imagine how you must feel.”

• “We will never forget Mark. He was so liked by everyone who knew him.”

• “I can already see that your children are becoming such nice young adults, just like their mother/father.”

• “I hope it is some comfort to you to know how highly regarded Jim was by all who knew him.”

• “Even though I didn’t know your wife/husband, I heard such wonderful things about her/him from other people.”

• “I don’t know what to say.”

• “I am very sorry for your loss of Robert.”

Be sure to offer condolences to everyone in the family, and introduce yourself to family members who may not know you.

By having a sense of how your friend is feeling at that particular moment, you will better understand how to express your sympathy.

Whatever you say, the family will appreciate your comfort and support at their time of loss.

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Inspiring Moment: Icy Light in Glacier

Written by Martha Marino

 

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Inspiring Moment: Violets

Written by Braiden

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The “Stranger” in All Our Homes

Written by Braiden on August 4, 2011

This is one of those items that floats around the Internet from time to time. Often, I delete without stopping to read them, but this one caught my eye.

Good food for thought, especially when you consider that not only do we face the distraction of this “stranger,” but from more modern creations such as Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, and the millions of blogs and news sources now at our disposal.

A while ago, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.

As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche.

My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger, he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries, and comedies.

If I wanted to know anything about politics, history, or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future!

He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn’t seem to mind.

Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)

Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honour them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home. Not from us, our friends or any visitors.

Our long-time visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush. My Dad didn’t permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly and pipes distinguished.

He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.

I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked.. And NEVER asked to leave.

More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents’ den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.

Categorically, he destroyed all the moral values, ethics, love, time for each other and other good qualities we had in our FAMILY. Whilst adding some unnoticeable quantity of positive stuff also, which any way we would have had even without him..

His name?.. .. . .

We just call him ‘TV.”

He has a wife now..We call her “Computer.”

Their first child is “Cell Phone.”

Second child “I Pod.”

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Sky and Water at Alki Beach

Written by Braiden

 

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Inspiring Moment: Painting of Mom and Dad

Written by Braiden

 

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What Would Ebenezer Think?

Written by Laurie Halladay on August 1, 2011

On a warm, sunny summer day in Lowell, Michigan, five-year-old Sydney was enjoying ice cream with a new acquaintance, four-year-old Max. They were seated at the “kids'” table with an array of older children whom they were told were cousins.

What brought them together for this first-time meeting was the memorial service for Max’s great grandfather and Sydney’s great grandfather’s first cousin, Fred.

If you shook the family tree hard enough, Sydney and Max might be fourth or fifth cousins.

If they even thought about it, they were probably just as confused about how they were related to each other as the adults gathered at the adjoining tables were.

Cousin Fred was the last of my mother’s generation of first cousins.

I remember when I was not much older than Max and Sydney, the family would gather in our backyard for the annual Labor Day picnic.

I would be seated at the kids’ table with some of these same adults that now had become strangers to me.

They, too, had children and grandchildren whom I had never met until Fred’s memorial.

Sadly, it occurred to me, that we may never meet again.

But here for one day, the mantle had been passed, and I was the older cousin at the table.

Before gathering to give Cousin Fred a final toast, we had assembled at the little country cemetery where my ancestors were laid to rest.

Big headstones with our family name attested to the fact that we owned several sections of this burial ground.

Over in the back, I found Ebenezer and Carrie, my great grandparents, who had six sons and a daughter.

Max, Sydney, and all of the rest of us were the result of that union in 1867.

Ebenezer served in the 16th Michigan Volunteer Infantry and fought in 38 Civil War battles before coming home to Carrie, his Michigan farm, and a life with her for 50 years.

I had known things about my great grandparents, but visiting the grave site and being in the community where they lived brought them to life for me.

As I stood there, I wondered if Ebenezer and Carrie had noticed the crowd gathered in the cemetery on that Sunday.

If I had had five more minutes with Ebenezer, I would have introduced him to the family that carries on his name and blood lines.

I’d ask him what he thought of us. I am sure the generations that followed would be beyond his imagination.

But, I’m glad we could be there for him to see, and I am sure Carrie would be beaming.

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