Dear Mom,

How loyal you were to us all.

How you would love your granddaughter Olivia.

I apologize for not being there to take care of you more when you were fading away. Like dust–the universe carried you away–but unlike dust you are forever engraved in my life, my heart, my mind.

Is this life worth living to make you proud of me, or is it worth dying to be with you again?

I don’t succeed but try to live to make you proud of me.

Though we had our scrapes, I always knew you loved me and would die for me.

I am sorry you will never get the chance to see Olivia, but I feel you live through me when I take care of her.

I understand now what you felt when you looked at your four children and hurt when they hurt, worried when we were out late at night, and anguished over the mistakes you made.

Your beauty was never lost on me. Though we fought, your love lifts me up always and forever until I leave this earth.