My father died many years ago. He was 46 at the time. I was 21.

I have often thought that losing my father at that time in my life has also changed the course of my life. I planned an impromptu wedding with the man I was dating. The ceremony was supposed to take place in the hospital so that my father could participate. My dear father died the night before the wedding.

My first thought on hearing the news was, “I’m off the hook.”

However, that turned out not to be true.

Immediately after the funeral, my mother planned a large wedding. I was distraught over my father’s death and was unable to voice my fears about getting married. It was very foolish of me.

The marriage turned out to be very tumultuous, and eventually ended in a nasty divorce.

I feel that if I could have had another five minutes with my father, I could have asked for his guidance and advice.

Perhaps I would have married anyway; perhaps not.

But at least I would not have felt that it was something that I was rushed into in order to please everyone other than myself.

The idea of 5 minutes more with a loved one is very ironic to me. Over the years since my father’s death, I have often had dreams where he appeared and offered his kindness and comfort.

When he started to disappear, I often said, “Daddy, please stay. At least give me another five minutes.”

Editor’s Note: Jeani Ziering, president of Ziering Interiors, often writes about interior-design topics. She is also currently working on a novel.